My Favorite Affirmation....

I’ve spent years thinking about and playing with the benefit of using affirmations. I have some opinions and rules; first among them is: one doesn’t get far using affirmations unless one first uses denials. In other words, I don’t think it’s fair to say ‘I’m not sick’ when I truly am, thus pretending to be well instead of acknowledging the illness. I believe in the denial aspect. First, I think, we need to acknowledge the problem, weakness, need. After we acknowledge, then it’s time to deny that problem: Let’s not say "I’m not sick”. Let’s say “Even though I don’t feel well, this sickness has no power over me and I now claim my health and happiness.” See the difference? Acknowledging there’s a problem isn’t giving power to the problem; it’s giving power to the idea that I can get away from and through that problem.

So for years, one of my favorite affirmations is quite simple: “I am worthy of self-respect.” Based on an experience in my basic Rolf training in 1986, I was touched at the core by one of my instructors who triggered something deep, sad, fearful and unacknowledged in me. A two minute touch to my costal arch, below the rib cage, caused me to cry uncontrollably for about three hours during a course. Though the feelings were pre-verbal, if I assigned words to the feelings, they were something like ‘I’m not good enough; I don’t do enough; They don’t want me here; I shouldn’t have come.”

Even though I was enjoying the course, some deep old hurt in me didn’t know how to affirm that I deserved to take up space. And it’s taken me some years to find that belief that of course, I deserve good things in my life.

In the Bible, when Moses comes face to face with God and asks His name, God says “My name is I AM.” And in the commandments delivered to Moses, one important commandment is “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” If we think about that concept, can you see that perhaps God is telling us not to profane his name, his I AM, by using negative self-talk, thus cursing God? For me, this is a powerful concept. So I’m careful what I attach to my I am….not I’m sick, I’m poor, I’m depressed, but I’m happy, I’m prosperous, I’m abundant.

And thus my favorite affirmation: “I am worthy of self respect.” This can be a difficult statement to make to ones self; in the mirror, thinking it, sharing it with another—any way we consider the words, we may trigger negative self-talk. How do we believe we are worthy of self respect? Using the words of affirmation, focusing on the feeling of self-love, and acting as if the world wants us to have good things—when we can focus on that idea of self-love, self respect, and satisfaction with our world and the world around us, we not only create a happier life for us, but also for those around us.

So, if and when we’re having problems believing we’re good enough, or happy enough, or smart enough, or we find we believe in our lack instead of our abundance, I invite us all to come back to feeling our worth and self-respect. We can, and will, fall ‘off the wagon’ on occasion and not believe in the self; but we can also learn to focus on the affirmative belief that we can deny those feelings of worthlessness and find instead the feeling and believe of self-esteem. I AM worthy—how about you?

Sink Those Toes in the Sand!

I’ve just come home to Springfield after three weeks in Negril, Jamaica; my February home. I believe I first visited in 2003, so now it’s been over 20 years that I’ve returned to the same place to dig my toes into the sand.

I love walking a beach. Last year, due to a ‘stretching injury’ when I arrived and decided I needed to work harder, I was nearly unable to walk! It was all I could do to get about a quarter mile to the grocery store nearby, on a brick sidewalk, let alone travel on the beach. And the winter before, I had been recovering from a medical procedure and was unable to walk long distances…so I was VERY happy to be able to walk up to five miles a day on this trip!

What I’ve realized/what I feel is that allowing myself to literally focus on sinking each foot more deeply into the sand, then working a bit to toe off more sharply, seems to put more resilience into my legs, but also allows me to focus on which parts of my foot touch the sand and which parts try to stay away from it. Then, I’m able to adjust my footfall so I can more fully use my entire body. It sounds a bit too esoteric, I know…but it works. I’m always refreshed when I get back to a walkable beach (Negril is 7 miles long!) then focus on my walk for some distance…less interested in how far I’ve gone and more interested in how deeply I pay attention to my footsteps. I imagine I sometimes look like a crazy person. I don’t care; I’m interested in using my footsteps to give myself a massage in that loving sand for as long as I’m able. And clearly, walking in the water is a great way to go as well.

This year, there had been a large storm just before I arrived and the beaches were covered with more seaweed than I’ve ever seen in Negril, so I stayed off the beach for the first week. By the time I left however, I was happily trekking two miles up to stretch, bob in the surf, take the sun cure, then make that lovely beach walk back home.

I realize not everyone has the chance to barefoot walk on a beach all the time, but what about barefoot walking wherever one is, focusing on that use of the entire foot to exercise the entire body using attention to the feet. Sand helps: awareness helps even more. Sink in, enjoy, and spring out into the world, whether on the beach or not!

Ready! Fire! AIM!!!

This morning as I start my second cup of coffee, this title becomes the mantra I’ve decided too many of us use as we go through life. One of the reasons I like Crete is the feeling of both neighborliness where we live, but also that sense of relaxation I can find in nature there. I have less tasks to accomplish, take more satisfaction from each small one, and have nicer blood pressure readings—I think, because I get the above order correct instead of what you see in the title.

Interestingly, I often accuse my partner of using the ready/fire/aim order as she sets out. While I strongly expect she’ll outlive me, I’m aware that I may be left to clean this mess simply because she often moves forward without thinking through what she’s doing, For example, years ago while changing the light bulb over the garage door, she forgot she was on a stool that sat on a chair, and stepped off the stool to land on concrete a bit further down than she expected. That kind of ready/fire/aim makes her a candidate to find some way to foolishly injure herself, leaving me to aim towards cleaning up our past.

Well, I point this out because I’ve always believed that when one points a finger at someone else, three come back to accuse you. So I have to honestly look to see that I an exhibit this trait as well. I think if each of us was honest with self, they’d realize they are somewhere on a spectrum in terms of impulsiveness seen by or perceived from another; as careless. Their ‘antagonistic’ side or even enemy, for want of better words in the moment, would be deliberative person. To the impulsive person, to be deliberative translates to being slow and thus dull! And this morning I realized a major and deep pattern of ready/fire/aim that has prompted this blog. I’ll start there, and see where we land.

I usually get a mile walk in laps around my house, sometimes followed by a good workout. This morning, somewhere after the walk but as I was ready to get the coffee down to the computer, I had a quick flash of insight that I’ve had and lost many times. I realized I got ready for my day in the order the title defines. I stood up and started moving before I thought to put my body on straight. Wow. What a remembrance!

My mentor from the Rolf Institute/Guild for Structural Integration in Rolf training was Emmet Hutchins, now deceased. He carried the torch for Ida Rolf’s dedication to ‘the line’. While everyone has their concept or definition of this line, for me it’s an imaginary line that goes from the top of the head, thru the spine, dividing at the pelvis to travel down the inside of each leg and eventually into a spot between and behind the first and second toes; called Bubbling Spring in Chinese medicine. The point of the ‘aim’ step in this process of finding it is to stand and put the blocks of head, heart, gut and groin in the longest, straightest line one can imagine. Often one can think head upbacklong. Waist downback. Groin downfront. Gut straightbackslightup. Find that spot as close as you can, hold that spot, beathe a while, and only then move from that spot. As you go about life, hopefully you can feel a difference in energy and attitude.

For me, this mis-fire, (above title) suggests that around the world, individually but also as a society, we’d benefit if we’d each to take that moment to aim. It might look like this:

• Physical: Groaning out of bed, standing, then going in a body that got no warmup could be replaced with groaning, stretching in bed, getting out of bed and sitting long enough to feel your body, standing, finding that line, thinking long enough to know where you’re headed, then striking out. While this seems foolish to break down thus, if you reflect, chances are you can see this would do no harm and well may do good.

• Mental: Knowing one’s boundaries before getting into situations, in more and more of time and life (this is called aiming!). None of us will always have the perfect words at hand to deflect someone who wants to take away our balance, but we can learn, even if it’s only through “,,,I should have said….” With aim, we can get better. With practice, we get closer to perfect.

• Emotional: Realize that some sources including Mister Live to 100 and Blue Zone diet say four commonalities are found in people whose population in a specific geographic area is notably long-lived: diet, exercise, social connection and purpose. I feel like most of us fall down on at least two of those traits that keep one going for a longer and happier time. But focus on the last two…staying emotionally connected and focused on where and why one wants to go (AIM!) This suggests to me we could benefit from getting out of the hand-held and shrinking , socially disconnected life too many of us lead in some kind of fear, or in the overachieving result for some of us: that old “I’m not good enough) feeling.

• Affirmations: Nothing like that groan above to get one off to a great start! What about instead something as simple as “I’m good enough, and I have the energy for the day…? Or either half of that affirmation could help one move into a more thoughtful awareness of bodymindcore.

I have many more thoughts about how these words from the title and their order could change the world for the better. I think we’d be in better shape if more of us aimed more carefully at what we’re wanting, with slow and patient reflection before pulling the trigger. In politics. Corporations. Climate. Pandemic. On and on….so many ways I’d like to see this idea applied in more situations.

Thoughts Out, Awareness In, Then Reach, Rest and Explore

Since we all teach what we need to learn (in my opinion), I’m going to start this new year talking about something I need to remember on this and every page of the year. I’ve learned it; I lose it; when I’m lucky and I pursue it I find it again. Yesterday and the day before I realized how lost I was, then I found my way back with the above title words. Let me explain what I think I’ve rediscovered; I hope it helps you with whatever aches and pains another year brings or deepens, in your reality.

Most who know me know I damaged my body pretty badly years ago when a small plane went down hard and fast, minus any gas. I gained a compression fracture in my low back at the first lumbar bone (a pretty fragile bone in terms of nerve function), a broken sacrum, a deep gash in my forehead from the dashboard impact, and some paralysis of my left leg. These days, most of that is truly behind me. And yet….

I have back and left leg problems from time to time, and sometimes, all the time. I’ve been sitting in one of those funks where nothing I do or anyone else offers can make that pain diminish to what I consider an easily tolerable level. I know stress of any kind enhances my awareness of the tension/pain/something’s-not-right-in-my-body, or in my mind. So for about a month I’ve felt like my body won’t work for me, but the realization and attitude bring me some success. The stretches from the last two days seem to have brought me back into the bodymindcore, and I’m feeling very acceptable to myself. So what did I do? The above….as the title says.

First, I found a warm and sunny place; our east-facing sun room. Then I got into very comfortable and minimal clothes and lay on my sit up bench, which has been avoided for the last two months, and just allowed myself to hang backwards to open the spine in an extended, stomach forward and shoulders/arms/head dropped to the floor. I stayed in this position perhaps a minute and a half, allowing myself to stretch and breathe and try to allow the individual spinal bones all the way up and down, to relax. (you may know I have a fusion from T10—L3, so it’s hard to get the spine to open and relax. It’s also marvelous when places you thought were fused make satisfying individual noises). After a bit of time here, breathing, stretching, and trying to find each segment and give it breath and awareness, I move on to my next place. So I’ll lie on my back on the floor and use the first of two pieces of equipment I like; pieces take up little space when not in use.

I may start with a roller for neck, back, spine—wherever you want to work. I like moving all the way up and down the spine: I may use it specifically to get neck to relax, or open the shoulder girdles, or heart hinge, or low back. There are several tools we can use for this opening. Mine is rather hard and has little ‘goose bumps’ all around the two humps that can push up or make the spine long, according to what you’re trying to find and restore. One could simply put two tennis balls in some stocking that would keep them fairly close together, then use them the same way. Sometimes instead I use what I call a ‘dog bone’ pillow; about 12—14 inches long and shaped like a dog bone. Whichever I’m using, I focus on breath and stretch.

BUT I also focus on the title’s words, and they truly enhance what I’m exploring and releasing in or from the bodymindcore: Thoughts Out. This means, don’t think about any other stuff. Think only about your body and the task at hand, and if you must think, think how much you want to feel. Call it meditation if you want. I feel it’s a strong focus away from that which won’t let you find your own body. If we really concentrate on letting go of all thoughts except for those that calmly ask the condition of our body vessel, we learn so much more, and are ready to act! So whether I’m using double bump tool or this next one, I also work to find focus on that internal I am instead of the external one. That’s where Awareness In happens. That’s what must be the ‘in the zone’ feeling we hear athletes talking about, and happily I’ve experience short and slow-motion bits of that euphoria/internal awareness when swimming in a reasonably calm sea.

Another favorite tool is a stretching strap with a stirrup on each end and a good stretchable but strong cord with a soft covering. I’m lying on my back on the floor with feet in the stirrups and the middle of the cord behind my neck. Now, the strap I have treats me well; I like deep work and this lets me stretch the deep unconscious places and ask them to wake again. If one can’t find a strap with stirrups, any strap will do as long as you hold ends at a tension that lets you stretch and explore. I imagine each of us has to find the appropriate length to get the tension they can work with; but explore the tension as well as the position, with movements, while you’re in that Awareness In mode. And I’ve literally brought us to what we’re already trying to do: Reach, Rest and Explore.

This is a hard world in which to rest, and either we feel safer if we don’t explore, or we get caught in one of the several realities people inhabit, losing both our identity but also our ability to rest and re-find. Or maybe it’s finding for the first time, our deeper self. I found for myself and am trying to share with others because it’s helped me so much, the idea that when we can channel our thought away from the external world, into the internal world, and examine whatever we find, without judgment, as we move and explore our personal, nobody-knows-me-body and its tensions and freedoms. May we stay in those areas, with breath, and with movement until we find something that suggest we want and need to hold it, stretch it, breathe it, and let it talk to you/me/us.

We don’t do this. We don’t know how to do this. I believe we need to learn how to do this, as we learn to adapt to a changing world that causes us to hold our breath tighter and tighter. Obviously we all have to live in the uncertain world we now inhabit, but the more we can learn to leave the outside outside, go inside and rest, stretch and explore, and think and feel how to bring breath and awareness into all the places: the happy ones and the troubled ones.

What I think I know: When I let myself really pay attention to who I am, what I’m doing or not doing, and go inside myself fairly fearlessly, I find the places that want to remain shut. I try to find my way in, even when I’m scared of what I’ll find or do. But I believe, with all my heart, that growth happens when we go look at that old ugly pain and face it, feel it, and guide your prayers and thoughts so as to free it.

I hope this new year brings you, and me, and everyone including those I dislike, the opportunities to go deeply inside, try to heal the hurts with breath, stretch, thought and feeling, and acceptance. Let’s all go forth, trying to remember to go inside sometimes instead of getting sucked out of our soul and too deep into the world’s problems. Don’t lose the outer world; just don’t let yourself either believe in it or get sucked into it totally…The same goes for the inner world; don’t live there exclusively either! But learn to live comfortably in both. Think about that title…

.Happy New Year from Noah and CORE Fascial Release

A Degenerated Connective Tissue Network

Those who’ve followed me for any length of time know that I’m a peculiar thinker…for me, it’s important to try to find commonalities between systems or ideas and see if I can find ‘rules for the work’ that apply equally through systems. Today I’d like to share some thoughts on how in both bodywork, and the politics of the world today, we could apply a few rules that would help us create a healthier personal world and a healthier overall planet. I know it’s a stretch, but if you have a minute, take a read.

My bodywork is based on the connective tissue network, which personally I feel is the communication system through the body. When it is clear, hydrated, and supple, life in that body is better. I think the same is true in the interpersonal world. When communication and relationship is clear, lubricated and supple, we can achieve much more in this world, in my thinking. I practiced deep tissue bodywork, fascial release work, for 37 years and recently let go…when I worked and when I taught bodywork skills to engaged students, I presented some simple rules. They are as follows, simplified:

• Coax, don’t force. Remember to allow the other person to control their reactions.

• If a little is good, a lot may or may not be better. Don’t ask anyone to change everything, all at once.

• Whenever possible, engage your partner with breath and movement. While this applies more specifically to bodywork, I believe it’s important in any relationship.

• Talk to the partner! And be sure to remember that talking to another is much more successful if one also listens to and validates the right to disagree with each other.

• Give that partner one or two things to take out of your time together, to ponder, to perhaps make subtle changes in their thinking and habits.

• Let go, without judging who they are and how right or wrong they may be.

Now, lately I’ve been realizing that I’m very worried about the state of not only the US, but nearly every place in the world seems to be having political problem., In my thinking, these problems are often brought on by people at the ‘top’ who continue to strive to accrue all the power—their way or the highway. Whether it’s politics, pandemics, climate change, religion, or nearly any system or trauma we’ve absorbed, there are those who continue to strive to control…and striving to control is what seems to have created the worldwide mess we’re in.

Therefore, I’d like us all to have a visit back to the ideas above. How can we enhance our own personal world and our shared world view so we work together instead of at odds, trying to force our opinions on all others? Go back to the above ‘rules for my work’.

• Coax, don’t force. Do you see how arguing loudly and long doesn’t usually create any change in that other, that partner, and too often that person is then seen as the opponent? If we could learn to create a safe space to talk with another, respecting their right to a different opinion, listening to that opinion, restating what we think we’ve heard with respect, chances are we’d have a better chance at helping another make changes that we feel could enhance them and us.

• If a little is good, a lot may or may not be better. No one wants to be browbeaten by someone else’s opinion, particularly when they’ve not asked for that opinion in the first place! No one needs to ‘eat an elephant’ all at once to make you happy.

• Engage that partner with breath and movement. This actually fits the model for talking to others about the difficult issues of the day as well as it fits in bodywork. First, one can tell when someone stops breathing because they become tighter, and more rigid. When you don’t see or feel the flow of energy in your partner, they’re defending against you instead of absorbing what you have to say.

• Talking to the partner means a) you talk respectfully to them about your concerns or ideas and b) you listen, reflectively, to what they have to say. Then, with as much respect as possible, you attempt to restate what you think they are conveying to you. When you misinterpret and are corrected, can you continue to try to validate their ideas and thoughts, whether you agree or not?

• Give your partner one or two ideas to ‘chew on’ when you disengage. Don’t expect them to understand and remember all your so-called ‘important talking points’. Give them just one or two things that they can take away, so they can ponder when they’re alone, or with others.

• Let go. Don’t carry a grudge because someone doesn’t ‘get you’. Allow them to be who they are as you strive to be your authentic self as well.

In the ‘good old days’, which actually are only 20 or so years ago, our members of Congress might not like a colleague who sat across the aisle, but they didn’t seem to go out of their way to humiliate and destroy their ‘opponents’. We have many historical examples of how people of opposite parties or viewpoints managed to maintain healthy friendships and relationships, even when disagreement was strong. Why don’t we bring back that concept?

It seems we all have opinions as to how to work for the good of all…sadly, some seem to be more interested in fulfilling their individual needs more than the needs of all. Somewhere in the middle, there’s hopefully a place where everyone can feel heard, validated, and a person, a group, or two people, can make an informed, caring, and well-thought-out decision. Can we return to those days? Can we choose civility again?

P.N. Forni has written a small book; Choosing Civility, and it’s delightful. When I asked him for his ‘sound bite’ definition of civility, he replied: ‘Benevolent regard for others’. Wow. That’s it in a nutshell.

So you see, if you respect your partner, coax them to release their trauma, don’t get overfocused on changing them, monitor how present they are by watching breath and body tension, talk to them in a reflective style so they feel safe to express, then leave them with something to think about, and let them go about their business, I think you’re helping us all!

Finding Balance in Aging

This topic is on my mind a lot lately! First, I’m approaching 73 and have been living 36 years in a fairly damaged body, brought on by the plane crash in 1987. So I’ve learned both to live with some pain, but also to find what I call ‘work arounds’, meaning how to keep legs supple, how to manage pain, how to wear a brace on long stretches of stress, how to budget energies, for examples.

But lately as I explore my advanced years, I realize that there’s a fine line; a balance point. On the one hand, I can feel myself shrinking my universe as I withdraw from society and work. Where I used to happily take risks, climb on the roof to clean gutters or trim trees, or travel alone to strange and difficult places; these days I’m more likely to think in terms of ready, AIM, AIM, AIM, fire instead of ready, fire. And I think there is a balance to be reached here. I want to continue to take risks and enjoy life; yet I also want to be mindful of the consequences of the risks I’m taking.

Thus, when I pack for a trip, my kit looks much different than it used to do. The blood pressure medication plus tea tree oil or Thieves oil must travel with me; a few snacks, neck pillow, noise cancelling headphones, underwear and toothbrush need to be handy at all times. I like printed copies of all tickets and confirmations for hotels, etc. I don’t think I’m being anal as much as being thoughtful and careful that the things I need are in place.

But, I still enjoy the risks. A good example: I’ve never thought of myself as a strong swimmer. Basically I’m self-taught, so use something of a crawl without letting my head go under water most of the time. Now that I live by the sea part of the year, I enjoy swimming. But it’s only been in the last year that I’ve allowed myself to swim directly out into the sea instead of swimming along the shore so I knew my feet could touch the seabed at any moment if I felt panicked or in trouble in any way. These days I’m happily swimming straight away from the shore.

I do pay attention to conditions: is the sea rough today? Are the waves coming in strongly, or from a direction? Does the wind make the waves choppier? I subconsciously calculate these factors as I decide how far away from land I’ll go…aim, aim, aim. On a rough day, the first swim may be a short one so I can know I’ll find my way back to shore with no surprises. And I do enjoy the idea of giving myself to the sea and becoming one with it in a way that staying anchored to the shore will never give me. While I take a mild risk, I soften that risk by keeping my mind fixed on the variables…I aim a bit more than I used to do.

I’ve also mentioned that I’m getting better at finding rest points. Yard work is still something I enjoy; just not in large doses! I learned from my grandfather that there’s nothing wrong with rest periods when working. A year ago, my back was really bothering me after a very difficult work trip with some bodywork that stirred the old injury and I could barely move. I decided that if it was going to hurt all the time anyway, I might as well try to ‘work it out’. Thus, I reset a patio of about 150 pavers weighing about 25—30 pounds each. As I dug them up, added foundation to bring up the level of the patio, and releveled the entire project, I estimate I moved each block about 5 times…by my calculation I think I moved one ton of blocks! And after, my back didn’t feel worse, but I felt better for the achievement.

I think this is a tricky balancing act. As we get older, many of us get a bit more timid. I’m reframing that timidity into conscious evaluation of circumstances so that I decide how far I want to dip into risky behavior. I haven’t given up on risky; I just want to monitor the quality of risk I choose. And I’m enjoying life by finding risks that make me feel alive but don’t kill me!

Am I aging gracefully? Probably not: I find I’m crankier, I enjoy solitude much more each year, and my old injuries can sometimes rear up and cause grief. Yet, I’m still traveling, I’m still working on various projects, and I’m still looking to maintain that balance that says ‘aim’ while remembering a bit of risk is OK. I think we either decide to keep expanding, or we’re shrinking. I’m not ready to shrink.

Updates!

I’m aware that in retirement, I get less and less done, and it takes more and more time. I rather like this arrangement! However, it seems appropriate to let folks know what’s happening in my world.

First, my newest and hopefully final book is now available on Amazon: Finding and Sharing Resilience: Coping in a Crazy World is written for not only bodyworkers and those who may be going through a series of CORE sessions, but is actually written primarily for everyone! It’s my intention with this book to share the principles of each of my five sessions with the rationale for each session and its goals. Then I hope to offer ways one can use those principles in daily life to create a healthier and happier life first for self, then sharing the information with those around you.

I do believe the world has gotten crazy, and in some ways am happy I’m closer to the end of my life. Yet, I still want to be productive and joyful about my world, and in this book I share ways I believe I’m achieving this, and ways I think you can also find more resilience. Through modified blueprints, some science, some intuition, some affirmations, some movement ideas, and takeaway ideas, I believe we can all find more enthusiasm for our lives, even when they seem pretty crazy. I hope you’ll have a look! Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=finding+and+sharing+resilience&i=stripbooks&crid=1IC3MO7F800C1&sprefix=finding+and+sharing%2Cstripbooks%2C141&ref=nb_sb_ss_fb_1_19

Next, soon I’ll leave for Crete again, where I’ll spend the next two months. In that time I may begin working on a small handbook about stretches in ways that most of us don’t think of stretching. And happily for me, I hope to work with my 14 year old grandson as illustrator! So excited about this upcoming project.

And today I’m setting in motion the addition to the website of two courses in Crete this November: CORE III/IV, by invitation, and Maturity: the MasterClass, available to those who have taken CORE II or above. I offered this course last year in Scotland and it was well received. If you’d like a fall retreat to beautiful Sitia, Crete, please consider joining me! Limited to 6 participants, and will be on the web soon. I’m teaching far less (most of us are taking a large breath right now in terms of courses) and these two are basically tooled for those who have already received trainings.

Healthwise, I’ve had some severe ups and downs..the last year my body has wanted to betray me, but I’m happy to report that with lots of stretching and attention to what’s going on, I’m feeling quite good these days! I believe I’ll stick around a bit longer! So this isn’t quite a ‘going out of business’ sale, but if you’re interested in working with me, this may be the time.

Wishing all blessings, hopes for success and joy in your worlds, and may you find and share resilience in your own worlds.

I'd Like to Sell You a Maintenance Agreement!

Years ago, I worked for one winter in Portland, Maine, in a telephone solicitations office for Sears appliance service, trying to sell maintenance agreements on newly purchased Sears appliances. I say ‘trying’ because in the six months I think I made one sale! I was more concerned with trying to get people help when I heard their stories instead of trying to make a profit for Daddy Sears. But the term makes sense: When we choose to maintain our bodies, they’ll last a lot longer. It’s this kind of maintenance agreement I’d like to share with you.

In other words, I’m thinking of ways we can all find to help us take care of our own bodies more fully. So today I want to share with you an excerpt from my upcoming book Finding and Sharing Resilience: Coping In A Crazy World.·    I hope the book will be released in March of this year…but before then, here are ideas that I think any of us could use if we truly want to tune into our own bodies and maintain them. See what you think! Perhaps one or more will challenge you to rethink the way you maintain your own bodymindcore.

• Find your ‘line’. Imagine a pinpoint of light that starts at the top of the head and goes to your inner arches. Can you make that line longer and straighter? Can you take any ‘kinks’ that you tend to create in that line and stretch and balance them? Can you first find your ‘neutral’ line as you stand, before moving forward? Ready, aim, fire…not ready, fire, oops!

• Whenever possible think head up, waist back. As I discussed earlier, one can get even more sophisticated by adding groin downfront and heart outfront, then bringing the ‘line’ even slightly forward instead of allowing self to slouch. Remember to keep head, heart, gut and groin further apart and in a straighter line.

• Lead with your heart as you go out today. If or when you feel vulnerable, put an imaginary mirror/shield over your heart so whatever would normally bother you and cause you to shrink just goes back to its source and you can stay long and open.

• Remember too, it’s all right to set boundaries and say ‘no’. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you choose to take care of yourself. Fill your own cup first and nurture others from the overflow, not from lack.

• Notice your patterns and challenge them. Whenever possible, check your balance or lack of it. If you realize you always put more weight on the left leg, shift to the right. If you cross the right leg over the left habitually, shift to the other direction. If you prefer to live in your head, switch to your heart occasionally, or vice versa.

• Whatever exercise or stretching awareness you use, try it again, but twice as slowly. After working with the new speed, try it again, twice as slowly. Get more discerning as you make smaller distinctions; you get so much more information this way. Keep in mind that the deeper you want to go, the more slowly you want to go. This is called ‘maturity’.

• Drag and allow to wag that Pink Panther tail! You don’t need to shake your tailfeathers; on the other hand, there’s no shame in letting the tail be a bit looser. Wag, don’t bark!

• Lead with your knees when you walk and put a spring in your step. Most of us are too heavy in our heels on legs that are too tight and unmoving…by springing instead of shuffling or slogging, we’re already creating more health and circulation, and softening our own back issues as we massage everything above through the use of resilience in the legs.

• Let ‘that which you have’ be your exercise equipment. Whether you sit at a desk and shift side to side and front to back in the chair (or likewise in the car), whether you choose to simply stand and put your hands on a table, desk or counter and lift yourself so that your body hangs from your shoulders instead of the other way around, whether you use toe push-ups when you’re doing dishes, or waiting in lines, stay aware. Find ways to move when you’d normally remain static. Put two tennis balls in an old sock, tie it off and put it under your spine as you lay on it, roll around, and breathe while you use it as a personal massager. Even confined to a wheelchair, one could simply grasp the arms and try to lift out of the chair several times every now and then, or twist from side to side while holding those arms. Think of anything around you, including stairs and chair arms, as exercise equipment.

• Remember: there’s a difference in sequence between Ready, Aim, Fire and Ready, Fire, Aim. Which do you do more of the time? Stop, stand, find neutral, and find your line and think about the goal before you move into the world with purpose.

So, I hope these ideas will give you something to think about in this coming year. We are all living in a crazy world, but it’s up to us to find and maintain sanity. I hope these ‘maintenance agreements’ will help you maintain your sanity and your health!

You Don't Know Squat!

The title is a bit intriguing, and true for me as well as many of us, I suspect. What I’m suggesting with this title is most of us don’t know how to squat, or more importantly, how to maintain a squat. Since most of us don’t move enough, we shouldn’t be surprised that we can’t ‘achieve’ a squat. We also shouldn’t be surprised that our knees and hips complain much of the time.

I’m 72 1/2 now, and I’m tired. I remember hearing my 93 year old father-in-law saying “I know I need to move, but it’s hurts too much.” I get it, I truly do. He hadn’t had the experience of surviving a plane wreck and having spinal fusion with rods which were later removed…he’d done what he could to stay active, but by the end of his life he could barely move at all. In fact he crawled up the stairs to his bedroom and bathroom, and had to crawl—backwards—back down the stairs. Yet he managed to stay in his home until very near the end by his desire to keep moving.

On my last trip to the sea, I spent much time alone on a quiet beach stretching, sunning and swimming. One thing I realized was how friendly sand or small smooth pebbles are for a good squatting session. I found if I could anchor my feet happily in the sand, then squat, then make circles with my knees and/or hips so as to move my weight to each part of my feet I was moving everything above as well—especially those tricky knees that give too many of us too much trouble. I could feel the movement in my back, neck and shoulders as well, but I was most interested in feeling the movement or lack in hips and knees. I realized the simple act of squatting, then moving, was oiling hinges I’d forgotten existed!

Of course anyone can feel better when on a private beach on a warm day; but it’s not critical to find the perfect spot for squatting. If one uses a folded blanket as a base, one has a bit of the give and take the sand will offer. One may need to keep the hands and arms stretched in front of self with the squat so as to maintain balance; no problem! One may even need to have a crutch such as a chair or table to support themself when they squat. Again, no problem! Get up, try something, and explore…that word keeps coming up in my stretching and movement time.

Something that returns to me from my past relates to a question on the entrance exam for the Rolf Institute many years ago, when Dr Rolf had posed the essay question; “Describe the muscular action of standing still.” In my foolish understanding of things, I chose to respond to this ‘easy’ question, only to realize there’s no such thing as standing still! One is constantly adjusting so one doesn’t fall backwards, or forwards, or tip to one side. The same thing applies to a good squat. One is constantly unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) monitoring to make sure they don’t fall forward, backward, or off to a side. It’s therefore stretching and waking every muscle above! Why don’t we do this more often? It’s a sure way to massage the entire body; yet too often we’re afraid to squat.

So the challenge: give squatting a try! Perhaps your knees say no, or your hips. Perhaps you’ll need to hold onto a chair or table, or let your hands reach the floor for stability. If you can find a deep squat, then explore, I believe you’ll find you have a new body with more life in it.

While I don’t know squat, I’m finding it!

I'm My Own Grandpa

In a previous part of my life, I lived in the Missouri Ozarks; an area touristically famous for the term ‘hillbilly’, describing hill folks who had pretty limited social exchanges due to the isolation of their homes. In this time, I heard a song called by the above title. The concept was that due to intermarriages, etc, the fellow singing the song was actually related to himself so many ways that he was indeed his own grandpa.

Well, that’s simply an aside to explain the title; actually, what I’d like to share is my realization that as I’ve aged, I’ve become my grandfather—and I couldn’t be happier. In some ways, my Grandpa K was a rock in my childhood. A gentle farmer, he still milked 12 or 13 cows morning and night (we’d be up at 5 am to ‘help’), kept an old work horse that he hitched to a plow, harrow, and hand-built sled that he’d drive up and down highway shoulders between our houses. He continued to tend two large gardens well into his late 80s and passed away at 92.

Among my memories of Grandpa, first is the fact that two things seemed to always be present with him: he chewed a cigar all day long! If memory serves, every day he started with a fresh cigar and by the end of the day it was gone. Second, he hummed to himself all day long as he went through his tasks…and he seemed to always be on task. So I have great memories of following him through his day, with the cigar and the music. Happily, I found his humming is a habit I’ve acquired, and I’m even more pleased to report my 13 year old grandson still carries this habit in his DNA. Humming was never something my father showed interest in pursuing. Cigars never interested me, or my dad.

And the piece I’m finally really appreciating about Grandpa is his ability to pace himself. He’d work hard, but never so hard as to totally tire himself out. Often I can remember him saying, “Let’s hoe this row, little guys; then we’ll sit in the shade for a few minutes.” From Grandpa I got the realization (which is finally bearing fruit) that it’s good to go at it, but it’s better to remember to stop and breathe. So much of who I am and who I’m becoming can be traced back to Grandpa’s influence.

These days, at 72, I’m happy to feel I’ve achieved if I remember to water all the plants, or review one chapter in the latest book, or wash the car. My goals have settled into senior year goals and I hope to keep this sense of relaxing to enjoy the tasks instead of believing I must achieve more and more.

So in some ways, I’ve become my own grandpa, and I hope I’m instilling in my grandson some of the values that old fellow shared with me. It’s great to work hard; it’s also great to breathe, relax, and bask in the glow of a small job well done.